some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
