what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
