do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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