What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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