she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
