Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
