I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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