I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
