I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
