I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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