Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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