Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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