in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
