just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
