yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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