We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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