your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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