For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
