Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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