i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i think my cat just said my name.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
