is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
