I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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