I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
