you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
