I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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