why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
