Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
