Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
