Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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