doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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