I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
