do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
