chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
