3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
