I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
