i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
