I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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