I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
