Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
