i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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