If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
