My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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