dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
