It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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