there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize