I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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