a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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