She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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