U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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