a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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