I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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