im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
