I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
