so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
