dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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