3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
