I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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